Thursday, August 16, 2012

The "You Have BAD Breath" Day...

My kids usually visit the eye doctor right before returning to school.  I was looking at the calendar a few weeks ago and realized I hadn't scheduled their appointments quite yet.  So with trying to accommodate my vacation week and work schedule, so I picked a day I already had to leave early.  My youngest daughter had a dentist appointment scheduled late one afternoon, so it worked out perfect that I scheduled their eye doctor visits for that same afternoon.  What I failed to realize was that because of doing just that, I would have blog material fall right into my lap.

It's no surprise that Jenna is the daily entertainment for our family.  She is the never-know-what-she-is-going-to-say-or-do-next child.  She is my handful but she is also very sweet and loving.  There is never a dull moment around our home when she is awake.  I know the expression kids say the darndest things is often heard or said.  Unfortunately, that might just be an understatement of her actions that afternoon.  She is known to be energetic almost all the time, but this day she was pumped up and ready to go.  I didn't ask her Granny if she gave her boat loads of chocolate that afternoon, but maybe I should have.  So we arrive just in time at the eye doctor's office.  Since she is the only one who wears glasses, she was raring to go first.  She jumped right up in that big black chair and started asking the doctor her normal 20+ questions.  What's that do, what's this do, why is that picture on the wall, what do you use this for?  Then he came closer to her to instruct her on what to do and where to sit.  Next thing I know, out of her mouth came four words that embarrassed the daylights out of me and left me speechless.  She looked him straight in the eye and said "You have bad breath."  Ugh, what, ummm, hmmmm, oh my God, my child did NOT just say what she did.  Yep, she certainly did and it was too late to rewind the scene.  My first action was to immediately look at Alyssa on my left with my mouth wide open.  What could I say or do?  It's not like I could jump up, spank her butt, and lecture her about things we don't say at that moment in time.  So I said her name very sternly, and told her that wasn't a nice thing to say.  Then it was time to try and save face as much as I possibly could.  The damage was already done, but I couldn't let the situation go completely.  I explained to the eye doctor to please not think anything about it because she tells me, my husband, and her sister that all the time.  He laughed it off but I could tell he was bothered by the comment.  But to retreat, he got her back because she had her flip flops on the floor and was barefoot.  He told her she had stinky feet!  Good one doc, considering you were just told your breath stinks!! 

So after that humiliating incident, it was time for Alyssa to get her eyes checked.  As always, the good child sat up there and did as she was supposed to do.  No humiliating words left that pretty little mouth and her eyes checked out great like they always do!

So after both exams were done, it was time to pick out glasses for the year.  I told the ladies working in the office what Jenna said, and they laughed about it.  But then the lady who always helps us pick out Jen's glasses put gum in her mouth and now always chews gum when she is around clients... all thanks to those 4 little words my daughter spoke that day.  The glasses choice was a quick and easy one, and it was time to be off to the next stop - the dentist where the people are nice and close to your mouth, oh my....

Let's just say Jenna received a lecture and a threat that she better not embarrass Mommy at the dentist office like she did at the eye doctor.  We reminded her that sometimes we may have a thought in our head, but we don't speak it out loud.  For most people, this is common sense, but for Jenna it can be difficult.  She has always spoke her mind or asked whatever is on the brain at the time. Lord knows I have tried to teach her appropriate things to say, but there are just times where her mouth is out of my control.  Her little brain operates and there is no stopping her! 

Her dentist venture began with her cleaning as usual.  At least I had conversation material for everyone in that office that we came in contact with for that appointment.  I told the story and each person just laughed and thought it was hysterical.  I have to admit it was a bit funny.  Honestly, what can you do after your daughter says that?  You have to laugh just a little bit, but the embarrassment definitely superseded the humor in it.  She continued on her role at the dentist of being energetic and thinking she was funny.  At one point, she asked the dental hygienist if she had anything to keep her distracted while she waited on the dentist to come in the room.  So she received a lovely tic-tac-toe electronic game to play with for a few minutes.  Then the dentist came in the room and heard the same funny story.  I have to admit I was grateful that none of them had bad breath.  At least Jenna didn't blurt it out if she thought so....

What was supposed to be a pretty quiet routine afternoon of doctor/dentist appointments turned into a comedy session that day.  And a day the eye doctor and ladies in that office will never forget!  I hope when she is 20 years old, the doctor harasses her about this story.  I dearly love both of my girls and their personalities.  It's funny how they are so much different from one another.  They both have qualities about themselves that I wouldn't change.  What I think I will change is the fact I will start carrying duct tape in my purse....  Thanks for the laugh and blog material Jenna.  We did get to pick up the glasses a few days later, and thank goodness no one had bad breath that day!

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