Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Not only have I gotten the chance to experience new things and life this year, I have grown up and learned more about myself this year than any other year of my life. I have come out of my shell more than ever. I no longer hold back if I want to say something to someone nor do I tolerate things I used to. I have also learned life is a roller coaster ride with learning experiences everyday. I have learned my mother can be right sometimes. (I'm sure there will be some comment about that but note I said SOMETIMES). I have learned I will listen to others' advice and appreciate their input, but ultimately I will do what I think is best in the situation. And if I fall from my actions, then so be it, I learned from them. I have learned I make my own decisions in this world and others may or may not influences those choices. I have learned to just be me. Be the best I can be for my daughters, myself and for others. There have been some things I have learned the hard way and some things I have been blessed with beyond my imagination.
So here is a huge welcome to 2009 ~ I will welcome this year with my head held high with the openness for my life to be changed, shaken and abundantly blessed. May God bless each and every person as we welcome 2009 with open arms. Remember to give your loved ones an extra hug or phone call just to say hello!
Have a safe and Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
So off to work I went all psyched up to go on my lunch break to get my new pretty license and all of a sudden, I had a huge realization...
The day was Monday and the license branch is closed on Mondays. Hmmm... so now all that worrying over the shirt and the hair for nothing! Oh well, at least I looked good for the customers who came in to my office and for the strangers I saw in Wal-Mart LOL.
So fast forward to today. This morning when I woke up I was at least mentally prepared for the big day ahead. The day to have my pic taken to put on a permanent piece of plastic for the next 4 years. Oh my, the thoughts of the previous morning came rolling in to my mind! I must have the perfect shirt, my hair must be fixed just right, oh my!! So while staring at the clothes in my closet, I decided on another new shirt I bought this month. And then came the moment of truth ~ was today going to be a good hair day or a bad hair day? Well... I am happy to say it was a good hair day! Not just a good hair day, but my hair gave me no fits at all. It was as if my hair knew today was the today it would gets its image posted on the new license so it decided to cooperate in a perfect manner!
OH WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE... I left out one VERY important part of the whole getting ready for the pic scenario. The other article of importance would be the jewelry. Yes... the necklace and the earrings because those do accent the face! So I took a moment or two to think about this one. I had accessories to match my outfits the last two days but opted to go with one of my favorite necklaces and sets of earrings. My pretty circle of diamonds matches about any shirt, casual or dressy in my closet. So that was the item of choice and not only did I have to wear it one day, but two days in a row! And to most of us women, that is a no-no. You can't wear the same piece of jewelry days in a row. But I did, and it's ok. I will live with it. Now just don't tell my neighbors or friends because they might think badly of me. Just kidding!
So then lunch time came around and it was time to go get the
So I arrived at my favorite place and only had about a 20 minute wait which wasn't bad considering it was the end of the month. I listened to the nice lady ask me all these questions such as:
"Do you have any other id from another state?"
"Have you ever been convicted of a felony?"
And the list went on and on. I cannot remember all of them but I felt like I was given the "are you a criminal?" interview.
Then the moment I had been waiting for finally arrived. I stepped over and sat in the chair with the blue background behind me. The nice lady gave me my instructions ~ push the hair back off my forehead, sit up straight, and don't smile for the camera! I stopped her right there and told her that was difficult for me to do because I tend to smile alot, especially for a camera flash! So while sitting up straight in the chair and trying not to laugh, she got ready to take the mug shot and I busted out laughing. She couldn't take the picture since I was "smiling." She then started laughing at me because I couldn't sit up and "not smile." I apologized to her and told her it was more difficult not to smile than to smile. The man beside me looked at me like I was from another planet and was laughing at me. I could see what his expression read "wow, that girl must be a total ditz. But she is kinda cute though...." I didn't care though because I was having fun at the moment. So finally I took a deep breath, sat up straight and "didn't smile" for the camera. She snapped the pic and it turned out good on the first try! That was wonderful considering the man & woman before me had to get their shots taken 3-4 times before getting a good picture. They didn't look too camera oriented though! So I was proud of myself ~ after my laughing attack, I was able to take the pretty pic with the first snap of the camera!
And finally at last, I was handed my new
Then I noticed something else new about this license. For the mug shot, they zoom in really close to your face now! On my old license, it showed my full head of hair and part of my shirt. Well, not on this new identification! So it was a good thing I had a good hair day even though the pic cut off part of my head that shows my hair. Oh and I can see the earrings so at least that part got in the pic too! And the shirt I wore looks a different shade than it really is, well the eensy weensy teeny tiny bit that you can see anyways.
So all the worrying and fretting over what shirt and jewelry to wear ultimately really did not matter. So my advice to anyone who is going to renew their license is this ~ don't fret over your appearance. Just make sure you hair isn't in your face (for women with long bangs, I have no advice LOL), make sure you don't smile (because that isn't allowed as I learned), and don't stress over this fun activity we get to repeat every 4 years! And if you are like me and have to smile for the camera, practice this move at home before "not smiling" in public. Or else you will give the nice employees and customers something to laugh about! Or is that just me? =-)
Monday, December 29, 2008
I did a search on the lyrics and here they are (or close anyways):
You wake up from your dream and, and you don't want to face the day
You can't find a reason to think your world will ever change
You can hide beneath the covers
Or you can run outside head up high and carry on
Life is a roller coaster ride
Time Turns a Wheel and Love Collides
Faith is believing you can close your eyes and touch the sky
so Shine while you have the chance to shine
Laugh even when you want to cry
Hold on tight to what you feel inside and ride...
It brings you up slowly then shoot you like a rocket towards the ground
it twists and it shakes you before it turns you upside down
You can't see what's around the corner
and You can't look back, so just live it up and feel the rush
Life is a roller coaster ride
Time Turns a Wheel and Love Collides
Faith is believing you can close your eyes and touch the sky
so Shine while you have the chance to shine
Laugh even when you want to cry
Hold on tight to what you feel inside and ride...
Shine while you have the chance to shine
Laugh even when you want to cry
Hold on tight to what you feel inside and ride
I love everything about this song. In the beginning lyrics, she says we can hide under the covers or get up and go on with our head held high. That is the absolute truth ~ only we can choose the way we handle situations and carry on in life. We can run and hide from issues, or we can face them so that we can move forward.
The chorus to the song is absolutely beautiful. Life is truly a roller coaster ride up and down through the curves and twists and turns. Whether we want a roller coaster ride or not, that is what life is. Her definition of faith is marvelous. It's believing we can close our eyes and touch the sky. WOW how true is that! Faith is believing in the inevitable or impossible sometimes. If a person has no faith, that person has NOTHING. Even in the worst times, we must have faith that the best is yet to come.
I also love the line about laughter ~ laugh even we want to cry. Crying is good at times because it cleanses and refreshes our minds. But often times if we would just laugh instead of crying, we would feel better about whatever the situation is. Sometimes we have to forth a smile and be brave even though we're dying inside. We have all been there at some point in time or another. On the inside we are weak and ready to cave, but yet we don't want the outside world to know that. We don't want our friends, family or even strangers to see us crumble as if we are some weak soul who cannot handle the situation.
Especially men. Most men are actually sensitive on the inside but they must remain "manly" for the sake of others. I have seen first hand how a man can go for years without crying. But you know what? When he hits a breaking point and lets go of the tears, he will release all of the tension from the years he has been holding on to. And hopefully he will move forward and be able to let himself cry again.
Again, I do like that line of the song. But I also thinks it's necessary to be able to let yourself break and have a good cry every now and again. I know whenever I have a good cry about something I always feel better afterwards. Others might not be so brave to admit that, but I bet if you have a good cry about something you have been holding on to, you would feel totally different after the fact.
Then comes the ending line - Hold on tight to what you feel inside and ride. Enjoy your life and the ride your life is taken through this world. And just ride. Don't fight the ride because it comes whether we like it or not. And it's much easier to flow with the river than fight against it. Ride the waves, enjoy the calm ocean breezes and savor every moment during the roller coaster ride of life!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Each person we meet also influences our life and can impact how we live our life. Each and every person that has come in to my life has made an impact on me somehow, whether it was small or monumental. There have been some who have come into my life for a season, some that have come into my life for forever, but each person has come into my life for a reason. Sometimes we don't always know the reason people come into our lives, but God sends people to us so we can learn a lesson or learn more about ourselves. And sometimes we don't always know if that person if there for a season or for a lifetime, but something is to be gained from every person that enters our life.
This year has had many ups and downs, ins and outs, and many life changing experiences for me. My motto it seems I have repeated to myself over and over again this year has been "Live and Learn." Through every experience or situation I have been through this year, and each new person I have met this year, has brought something I have learned. I have learned who I am through the most difficult of times, and I have become a stronger person because of those trying times. I have also had many good experiences this year and have been blessed tremendously by God above.
So with each positive or negative experience you go through in life, take something from that experience and apply the lesson to your life. Think of a situation you went through that was trying and difficult. When you were in the midst of the moment, you thought your world was over or that your life was just going to crumble. But looking back now, your world was not over and you learned something from that experience you went through. Often times, we must go through difficult times in order to see what we will receive in the future is so much more.
It makes me think of the Carrie Underwood sign that has the line "sometimes that mountain you have been climbing is just a grain of sand." At the current moment when problems are at their max in our lives, it seems as though we are climbing a mountain. We cannot visualize what is over the mountain. When our problems or situation subsides or becomes a problem of the past, we are then able to reach the top of the mountain and look down to the valley. And many times there is a huge blessing awaiting us on the other side of the mountain that we have no idea about. God will never give us more than we can handle. We have all had times we don't see how we can handle our circumstances or move forward. But it's then that God will give us the strength to go on and learn from life's hard times.
So take life's experiences and learn from them. We all gain knowledge as time and life passes each day. It's up to us what we take from our day to day experiences and how we apply them to our life. Take the trying moments in life and learn how to handle trying times in the future with a more positive outlook. Take the wonderful moments in life and treasure them with your heart and your soul. Remember life is a train ride of learning experiences. Live and learn in the life because life is a constant changing tide.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Looking back on 2008, this has been a wonderful year for me. I have come a long way this year and plan to keep moving forward as life rolls along. I have had the wonderful blessing to spend time with family and friends today and many times this past year. God has poured many blessings into my life this year. I am so grateful for each and every blessing that has been given to me and my family!
Now for a different twist - a holiday reminder about how Santa makes mistakes too like any other human being:
My oldest daughter always leaves a card for Santa Claus each year. She thanks him for the presents and reminds him to drink his milk and eat the cookies left for him. She also reminded me of a funny story last night. Last year Santa Claus mixed up the stockings and put little one's belongings in older sister's stocking. OOPS Santa must have been exhausted last year and didn't realize his mistake. So in the card was spelled out to Santa which stocking was for which child. He got it right this year. Good job Santa and thanks for the lovely gifts under our tree this year!!!
I want to wish each and every one a Merry Christmas! And Happy Birthday Jesus!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
But with my philosophy in life about everything happens for a reason, I should know when to slow down or take a step back at times. I am learning that more and more as time passes. I am learning to slow down and live life to the fullest in the current moment. I am learning to stop planning the next 10 years of my life and where and when I'm going to end up in the future. Many of us are guilty of this exact same problem. Things are going good and we are on top of the world and then BAM. Something happens and our world we had planned or direction in life changes. Then what?
When I have had change occur in my life, I look back on the experience I had and chalk it up to good memories and lessons learned. I have learned something from every situation that has happened to me, whether it was good or bad. I am able to take any situation in my life and see the positive, even in the darkest of times. That would be called being optimistic. If more people would be optimistic in this world, this world would be a much better place then it is today. Today's society is so busy with the hustle and bustle of all the tasks we need to get done each and every day, that we tend to forget the important things in life.
I recently met a couple who came in to my office. They have been married 46 years and the woman found out in the last year or two that she had cancer. She was very positive and her story was very inspiring to hear. She decided the wasn't going to let it get her down and she was going to beat the cancer, no matter what it took. She explained how her faith in God had grown tremendously and how she had been a positive influence to others during her turmoil. She was strong not only for herself, but for others near and dear to her. One of her expressions was that her family members were supposed to be there to support her, but that she had actually give her family members support for what she was going through. Kind of ironic if you think about it. She is the one battling cancer and she holds up her loved ones so they can deal with what she is going through. I was so in awe of her story and her outlook on life. I have talked to her husband a couple times since and he said she was been in positive spirits, even though she had surgery a few days ago. She is very independent and has had to learn to let others help her. This lady's personality sounds so much like mine and I believe that is why I was so drawn to her. I prayed for her and have continued to pray for her each day since I met her. Even though she has no idea, she made quite an impact on my life and the way I have been going non-stop lately.
I have taken time to slow down just a little bit. I have spent more time with loved ones, my kids, friends and doing things I enjoy. I have spent extra time on the little things in life that I normally skip over because I don't have time. Time is what we make of it really. We all have the same amount of time in a given day ~ 24 hours, no more and no less. It's up to us as an individual what we so with that time and how we spend it.
So my vow to myself is to stay at a slow and steady pace as life progresses. I want to make the most of the time I am given everyday. I want to make memories that last a life time. I am no longer trying to plan every second of the future. I will plan for today, and maybe for tomorrow but not the remainder of my life. One day at time ~ that has been my slogan I have said to myself and others so many times this year.
Life is uncertain and none of us know what will happen in the future. It's part of the roller coaster ride of life. You have two choices in this world ~
1) you can sit back and let life pass you by and watch it roll or
2) you can grab on and embrace every second given to you by God above, live life to the fullest and make the most of what you have.
I choose to live life to the fullest and embrace each day as another blessing given to me. For now I will live one day at at time and wait for a sign from God where I am supposed to be next in this world. We never know exactly what journey will venture into our lives. We just have to ride the wave and pray God shows us where He wants us to be in life. Don't try to make your own judgement call in this world. Only one person knows the plan for our life and it's when we ask him for direction, we shall receive an answer. Often times that answer does not come right away so until then, live life one day a time and enjoy the ride while it lasts!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Such a powerful word. It means one thing but yet it means so many other things as well. We have all done things in our life that we need forgiven for. We have all had someone in our life we need to forgive at one point in time or another.
Forgiveness must begin by forgiving ourselves of whatever it is we are holding on to. And not only forgiving ourselves of our wrongdoings, but once you have forgiven yourself, you must let go of those mistakes of the past and move forward.
Once you are ready to move forward in your life, the next person to ask forgiveness from is God. He will grant you forgiveness in any situation, event, scenario or problem you have in life. All you have to do is ask Him and be sincere about it. You must truly in your heart want to be forgiven for your past mistakes so you can start with a clean slate and move forward as a better person in life. Many people do not know how to ask God for forgiveness. I have been there in the past. Just pray and ask the Lord to forgive you for your sins and mistakes you have made. That is it. Simple as that.
Then once the Lord has forgiven you, the next step is to forgive others.
We must forgive others in our life who have hurt us, brought pain or misery to our life, did terrible things, lie, or made fun of us about something. Most people in this world carry grudges in life and that itself is a sin. God wants us to forgive others who have hurt us no matter what the circumstances. Now obviously this is easier said than done. The majority of this world's population falls into the category of holding grudges and carries those grudges around with them each and every day of their lives. We have all been guilty of this whether we realize it or not. When someone hurts you, your feelings are hurt. And the normal reaction when your feelings are hurt is to want to get revenge or hurt the person back who hurt you. Not everyone in the world will feel that way, but that is the typical reaction when someone is hurt by another person. Even though this feeling if normal, I present this question to ponder, "What does it solve to strike back at the person who hurt you?" If you seek revenge on that person, it might feel as though you are superior for awhile, but ultimately in the end, you are no better than the person who originally hurt you. And revenge solves nothing. It only hurts the other person in return and the vicious cycle continues.
We can all think of an instance where we have wanted to seek revenge or get back at others who have harmed us. Believe me, I have been there. But God also wants us to be the bigger person in the matter and work towards forgiving others. Again, I repeat this is easier said than done. And it takes alot of courage and strength to be able to forgive others. But when we reach the point that we no longer want to seek revenge or pay back others for their actions, then I believe we are capable of forgiving others. Often times it takes time to get over whatever it is that happened to us. It could take days, weeks, months or even years to get to a point we can forgive others that have hurt us, leave the past in the past, and move forward with the lessons learned from it.
Now on the flip side of the coin, have you ever done something to someone, or hurt someone in some way, or did something you knew was wrong? The answer is yes you have, yes I have, we have all done something to hurt someone or something else at some point in time in our life. Now sometimes our actions that hurt others are not always intentional. And sometimes they are. Whatever the situation or scenario that took place, it doesn't really matter. The fact is at some point in our lives, we have all did something we knew was wrong, or something we aren't proud of, or hurt someone in a way that needs forgiveness granted. So I ask you this - if you know you have made a wrong decision or hurt someone else, have you asked that person for forgiveness? Maybe you have, and maybe you have not. So my challenge to you is this ~ if you are in this situation and need to be forgiven for something, simply ask the person. One must swallow their pride and admit their wrongdoing in order to ask another for forgiveness. We as the human race have a very hard time with the last statement. Read it again.
Now that you have read it again, take a moment to think about.
This means we have to apologize for our wrongdoing. Then once we apologize and sincerely mean it, then at that point we ask others for forgiveness. (And I'm not talking about when you were little and pulled your sister's hair because she took your toy away and your mother made you apologize to each other, then kiss and make up.) Never apologize to someone unless your heart is in it. Anyone can say the words "I'm sorry" but if they do not mean what they say, then the words mean nothing.
There are many different situations where we need forgiveness from others. Sometimes we can accomplish this just by asking. Other times we must show the person we are truly sorry by our actions. Actions speak louder than words. Whatever the situation, often times showing the person you are sorry is more effective than just saying the words. This can be done in many different ways depending on what the scenario is. You just have to figure out what is right for your situation and come up the best solution to show the person you are sincere and need forgiveness.
Depending on the situation in which you ask for forgiveness, it may or may not be granted by the person whom you ask. Forgiveness from someone who has been hurt sometimes takes a long time to give. I have seen many people in this world who are in this exact predicament. They have been hurt and forgiving others is not something that happens overnight. It takes time, patience and sometimes even courage to forgive that person. This brings me back to the point about holding a grudge. Carrying around grudges against someone or something brings a burden to your life. Yes it sometimes takes time to let go of that grudge or anger, but in time you have to let go and move on. Otherwise you will always be stuck in the same place and unable to move ahead in life.
In my personal life I have been on both sides of the fence on the subject of forgiveness. I have been hurt and had to learn to forgive others for their actions that brought pain to my life. It has taken time to work up the point of being able to forgive others, but it can be done. I have also been guilty of hurting others, unintentionally the majority of the time. I have had to ask for forgiveness a time or two. It takes a person back down to a level they have to swallow their pride and admit they were wrong. But often times when a person can do that, all the burdens of carrying grudges or hanging on to whatever it was they held on to for so long suddenly disappears. It's suddenly a refreshing and new positive feeling you can only experience once you let go of the past. And when you can forgive others for the mistakes, that's another refreshing wave of feelings as well.
I am at a point in my life where much forgiveness has been granted this year for different things that have happened in my life. It has taken me time to get past things but it's a nice and refreshing feeling to have been able to do that and let go of the past. I believe the past is the past and that is where it should stay. Do not carry the past forward to the future.
Do you need to ask for forgiveness or apologize to someone for something in the past? Don't wait until it's too late. We never know what this world holds from day to day. Don't put off something until tomorrow that you can do today. Nothing is guaranteed in this life on earth. That is why I live day to day and appreciate all the blessings I have been given. And why I can forgive others in order to move forward in to the future.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Bob Skelding has a team of 4 horses that pull a wagon he built himself. He started in New Hampshire on August 16 on a journey down the road with his wagon and 4 pulling horses. 4 months later he is currently venturing through Indiana close to where I park my car
So this horse gentleman is on an adventure that many people would love to take. Take a look at the website under the "FAQs" and "The Teamster" tab for more information on Bob and the commonly asked questions. I was very inspired reading about him and his stories. He has a very non-materialistic outlook on life and I agree with many points about his philosophy of life. Check out his philosophy of life (taken from the link off his website):
"Philosophy, everyone should have a little - here’s some of mine." - Bob Skelding
A. Rank your priorities in life and run your life according to the ranking. For example here’s my ranking:
3. Wellbeing of my fellow man
4. Self Respect
7. Pursuit of knowledge
9. Material Things
I’ve met a lot of people up close on this trip and the ones that are normally the happiest and have the most fulfilled lives are those that place their family and friends above comfort and material things.
Different people will have different things on their list. You notice that I don’t even have a career on mine right now - that’s because I don’t have one at this time.
When there’s a freezing rain and a driving wind I tend to move things around a little and try to push comfort a little higher on the list - ha ha. The list shouldn’t be rigid, just a general guideline.
B. You get out of this life exactly what you put into it (more or less).
1. If you want to be loved, then love others.
2. If you want to be happy, then make others happy and try laughing at yourself sometime. Don’t take yourself too serious.
3. Most everything is a two way street.
C. Nearly every goal or ambition is achievable.
1. Set the goal and make up a list of steps necessary to achieve it. Don’t be lazy. Work the list through to completion.
2. Before you start, ask yourself, “can I make the sacrifices necessary to achieve the goal (there’s always sacrifices to be made.)
3. When you reach a roadblock, and you will, figure out what it takes to go around or over the roadblock - there’s always a way - be creative.
4. Never voice the negative. If you say to yourself, “I can’t do this because it cost too much money,” then you defeat yourself before you even start. These are just roadblocks, there are ways around.
5. Don’t put off your goals too long. You may get 50 years of good health as an adult - if you don’t take advantage of them, opportunity will slip away. Rather than saying, “maybe one day”, try saying, “today”.
6. When you fall on your butt, dust yourself off and push on. There’s an old saying, “you can’t stop a person that keeps on coming.”
7. Having said all this; it’s good to be spontaneous sometimes. Some of the best things in life happen completely unconsciously.
D. When dealing with other people:
1. Be polite and respectful - there’s no excuse for bad manners.
2. During conversations, try to listen at least ¾ of the time, and talk only ¼ of the time.
3. Remember that everyone has there own dreams, desires, experiences, pain and sorrow. Try to look at things through their shoes and empathize with them.
4. “Do onto others, as you would have them do onto you” - often quoted passage from the bible - there must be a reason for that.
E. Morals - Integrity, Honesty, Keeping Your Word, etc.
1. Without these, you have no self respect - enough said
F. Courage -
1. Often misunderstood word. Courage is not the absence of fear, it is having fear and pressing on to do the right thing in spite of your fear.
He is very inspirational and is a positive person from what I can see on the list here. That is the way I am about life and so maybe that is why I'm so drawn to the website and the journey of life he is on right now. It must be awesome to leave all the stress of life behind, take off down the road and not have any particular destination.
Some people may look at this and think he is crazy. I do not think he is crazy at all. He is courageous, brave and strong to set out on such an adventure like that. It's not the most ideal situation because it is different from the everyday routine of life. Most of us go to work each day, come home and do what needs to be done, go to bed and get up and start the next day again. So I admire him for stepping out of the daily grind and taking this giant leap of faith on such an adventure.
So here is to Bob and his team of horses DeeDee, Joyce, Dolly and Doc. I hope this adventure is a success for him. He is truly an inspiration to myself and many others who have heard his story. Maybe if I am lucky enough I'll be able to see this crew passing through my town. Good luck to you Bob and keep up the journey!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Here is the e-mail that has probably circulated your inbox at one time or another. My advice is to print this list and review it on a regular basis. We can never be too safe in today's world.
Through a Rapist's Eyes - Please don't just read this, STUDY IT! This is important information for females of ALL ages. When this was sent to me, I sent it to almost everyone in my address book. Please pass it along. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly . Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.
3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse, or doing other activities while walking because they are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.
4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00 a.m. and 8:30 a.m.
5) The number one place women are abducted from or attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms.
6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.
7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.
8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.
10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: 'I can't believe it is so cold out here,' 'we're in for a bad winter.' Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.
11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes), yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it - it hurts.
14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble and he's out of there.
15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts! You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
TIPS FROM TAE KWON DO:
1. The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN. The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times.And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zig zag pattern!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! It may get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.'
This list has alot of very good points we all need to remember. If you feel the desire, copy and paste this in an e-mail and send to everyone in your address book. It could help someone someday.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
Follow the 3 R's:
Respect for self
Respect for others and
Responsibility for all your actions.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
Spend some time alone every day.
Open your arms to change, but don't give up your values.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
In disagreement with loved ones, deal with only the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
Be gentle with the earth.
Once a year, go some place you've never been before.
Remember the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
Looking through this list, I think each phrase offers some good advice. Many of these refer to love, family, friends, and relationship with people whom you have in your life. It is very important to realize it's these people in our life that are what is truly most important. Things come and go, people come and go, friends come and go, loves comes and goes, jobs come and go, but we all must remember to indulge ourselves in the current moment and never take life for granted. Life is too short and we must remember that each and every day. So live in the moment, take an extra moment to do something you enjoy, take an extra moment to play with your children, and don't ever forget to thank God everyday for another day here on earth.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Take Cell Picture of the Parking Lot Location of your Car
If you've ever tried to return to your car after shopping, and couldn't remember where you parked, then you'll appreciate this simple tip, so you won't spend precious time trying to find your car in a sea of others. Just take your cell phone out, snap a picture showing your location and shop 'til you drop knowing you won't be frantically trying to locate your car--especially in cold or rainy weather. An added advantage of not having to wander around searching is the safety issue. You need to get safely into your car as soon as possible.
Hmmm... so my first reaction to the post was I had to laugh because I did this just a couple months ago. If you need a refresher, click HERE.
Ok so while the author of this idea has a good idea for some, this would NEVER work for me! First of all, my cell phone is full of pictures and songs so I wouldn't have room on my phone to even take a picture of my car in the parking lot. And can you picture that? I mean really take a second to think about that - if a person got out of their car, stood back and was taking a picture of their car, what would you think about that person? My opinion would be is that they were a little wacky, but I would just walk past them and hope the cooky person didn't follow me. The next problem with taking the picture of a car in the parking lot is the fact that a parking lot is a parking lot. To me all the rows look the same and so even if I took a picture of my car, I wouldn't be able to tell what row it was in. And it's not like you can take a picture of the cars around you because there is a good chance those cars will be replaced by a different vehicle when you come out of the store.
Now I will give the author credit and say the person has a good idea about being safe in a parking lot. I make a habit when I am by myself to always have my keys in hand, finger ready to hit my car alarm if needed. I always lock my doors when I get in my car, then get moving as soon as possible. I don't sit there and organize my purse or write down my receipts in my check book, etc. I get the car in reverse so I can be on my merry way on to my next destination. I also pay attention to my surroundings and am cautious about people in a car parked beside mine. And if it is dark, I try to park under a security light. And most important, I usually have my cell phone in my pocket. That is my normal habit to carry my phone in my pocket, but I would at least have easy access to it in case of emergency. And that is what I do to be safe in a parking lot!
Now for my tip to finding your car in the parking lot
Thursday, December 4, 2008
My little one has been talking non-stop about Christmas and Santa Claus these past few weeks. Her latest famous question is "What do you want for Christmas?" She asks everyone this question ~ me, her sister, all her family members, all her friends, strangers in every store we go in, even the cat! Granny took her to Wal-Mart the other day and had quite the experience. My precious daughter asked everyone in the store what they wanted for Christmas. Most of the people who took the time to respond told her they didn't know what they wanted or hadn't taken the time to think about it. Imagine shopping in the store and a small child asks what you wanted for Christmas - you might not know what to say at first! This famous question has become part of the daily ritual around our house ~ or should I say an hourly ritual! She must ask me this 20-30 times a day ~ and there is no exaggeration there!
So what does everyone want for Christmas? Well my little one wants an oven and a "Dora thing" and a Dora horse. Not quite sure what the "Dora thing" is but I'll have it figured out before Christmas! Older sister wants an ipod, not just any ipod, a PURPLE ipod. And Mommy wants a new blanket for her new bed. Hey, I had to think of something to tell her or the question would not halt! It's not like I can tell her I would love to have that winning lottery ticket, or a brand new big house ready to move in to, or for the world to be in perfect harmony. So a new blanket on my new big comfy bed will work for now! What I REALLY want won't fit under my Christmas tree anyway...
So what is the next famous question? 3 words ~ "Where is Santa?" This has become the other famous question around our house lately. So the obvious answer is "the North Pole." Then comes all the lovely follow up questions - "Where is the North Pole?" "Can we go to the North Pole?" "What is Santa doing?" So after hearing "Where is Santa?" for the
This time of year is so fun with little ones around the house. I love to have help decorating the tree and making out Christmas lifts and shopping for others. We have an annual tradition of baking cookies each year too. We make sugar cookies with homemade icing and they are DELICIOUS! Oh and we always "custom decorate" them each year too. We write names on cookies, draw pictures on some, decorate with multiple colors and make little snowmen, candy canes, bells, Christmas trees, whatever the kids decide to create - ALL this fun with icing of course!
Do you have any family Christmas traditions you do year after year? Holiday traditions are a wonderful thing to look forward to each year. My girls know we will put up the tree the weekend after Thanksgiving each year. We will also visit Santa Claus while he is visiting from the North Pole LOL. We will go to Granny's Christmas Eve and have a nice holiday dinner and celebrate with family. I will usually get to see my two best friends I've had my whole life around Christmas Eve. I will send out the annual Christmas cards that I make each year. We will laugh at the cats that turn our Christmas tree skirt into a nice comfy bed each year. We will each pick out a new ornament each year to hang on the tree year after year. My new ornament is usually a Breyer horse carousel and Breyer horse stirrup ornament. They are so pretty each year ~ Thanks Mom!
While this time of year is fun and full of traditions and supposed to be a jolly time, there are often times people want to fast forward through the holiday and move on to the new year. If you fall in this category, just remember this time of year is only here once a year and then it's over. One time a year people will be nice and jolly and enemies will shake hands and get along for the sake of the season. So remember while presents and Santa and all that are fun, it's not what Christmas is truly about. As always, Jesus is the reason for the season! I thank the Lord for our Christ savior and look forward to celebrating his birthday this year. Please remember CHRISTmas is the best time of year. Take time to kick back and celebrate with family and friends and enjoy the moment while it lasts. Because once it's gone, it's gone and you can never relive Christmas in 2008.