Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Reasons We Owe Our Mother

I received this in an e-mail and thought it was cute. Now that I'm a mom, I understand these concepts all too well.


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
(Now my kids would never do that HAHAHAHAHA!)

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'
(So maybe I've used this phrase a time or two)

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
(Think I heard that while growing up)

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
'Because I said so, that's why.'
(I find myself using this all the time). If you haven't already, check out http://www.becauseisaidso.com/ This is a blog from a stay at home mom of 6 kids who became world famous overnight because of an Ebay auction. She is a writer and her blog is my daily humor therapy. Check it out - Dawn Meehan's blog. It's great!

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'
(Good logic there)

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
(You ever heard the joke that if you're in an accident, you'd crap your pants anyway?)

7. My mother taught me IRONY
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
(I remember hearing this from my mom and my grandma while growing up and I would just cry harder LOL)

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
(Hmm... I think I use this on a daily basis when I have to remind the kids to stop fighting, singing, yelling, or whatever they seem to come up with at the table)

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
(Don't quite have that problem yet - mine tend to stay pretty clean or at least I clean them up good!)

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'
(And if it takes 2 hours til it's gone, so be it)

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
(I believe this exact phrase has come out of my mouth more times than I can count)

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
(You ever heard the phrase "one, two, skip a few... a hundred?" Well a "million time" is along that same line)

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
(I think I've heard that one before too. Thanks Mom)

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'
(LMAO - no comment here)

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'
(I remind my kids daily they are very fortunate to have a house to live in, food to eat, clothes to wear, and toys to play with and a wonderful loving mommy as I)

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'
(I can remember this as a teenager. My mom would call me and tell me I was in trouble when I got home for something)

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
'You are going to get it when you get home!'
(Read the above comment to #16)

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'
(Don't have this problem LOL)

19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
(My daughter once told me she was the only one at school who wore a jacket. Well, it was cold in my opinion and Mommy knows best!)

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'
(Or when my daughter gets her guitar out to play it knowing that her little sister will be trying to play with it too, then yells at her to leave it alone. Still can't quite get this one in her head)

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
(And we wouldn't want that to happen now, would we? LOL)

22.My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'
(Not my kids!)

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'
(The problem is mine love the barn and would probably sleep in the barn with the animals if I would allow them)

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
(OMG these exact words have come out of my mouth to my oldest)

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.'
(This could be taken a number of ways. All kids have their own individual personality. I just hope their kids are good. If they take after me, they will be!)

So there you have it. Things that you understand as an adult that your mother probably told you while growing up. It reminds me of the famous saying "If I only knew then what I know now." How true is that statement? The older I get, the truer it becomes!

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