Monday, May 24, 2010

It Was Quite a Rude Remark!

Have you ever been guilty of putting your foot in your mouth? Have you ever said something you wish you could take back? Or even worse, have you ever said something not-so-nice about someone, and then it get repeated to that person? Unfortunately we have all been there before. We have all said things that we wish would have never said. We have all made comments that we wish other would have never heard. And how have you felt when you were the one that said something and couldn't take it back? Probably not real great. This very scenario happened to me a week ago; however, I was on the receiving end of the hurtful comment.

School is coming to a close for the summer (thank God)! It has been a long year and all the students, parents and teachers are ready for their well deserved summer break. At least my daughter is! Well, with the end of school comes the close of extra curricular activities for the year. I was in charge of a girl scout troop that has been together for 4 years and will be for one more year. We were in the midst of celebrating our year end awards party. We all had a nice pitch-in dinner to start the evening, followed by a couple girl scouts activities, some games, and then the long awaited ceremony to receive their badges and prizes they have earned for the year. Things in the girl scout troop have been a bit stressful the past couple of years, but I felt like this year had been a success. Our troop is very low key because of busy students and parents that are just as busy. I loved our little group of girls and they had a ton of fun together this year. Well, all was going well until one little girl spoke up and notified me that she would be switching troops and then proceeded to tell me a not-so-very-nice comment that her mother had said about me. I will not reveal what the comment is because that is irrelevant. The point is that I have devoted alot of my personal time, gas for driving all over the place for various reasons this year pertaining to troop related activities, fundraisers, etc, and alot of hard work into the troop this year. When the words rolled off the girl's tongue, I froze for a minute and had to let what she said sink in. Because the comment she made does not describe me at all. I was deeply offended and had to walk away from the group of girls for a moment to collect my thoughts and to keep my cool.

Even worse, the comment came from a mother who has been with the troop the entire four years, and who has not done a whole lot to contribute to the troop. This person stays at home and has tons more time than I who works 9-10 hours everyday at my job on top of everything else I do. So not only was the comment extremely rude and offensive, but for the person who put not much effort forward to the group to say such a horrible thing, it was pretty low. Very very low. So there it is, one of my biggest pet peeves ~ someone being judgemental. Judging others is a sin, and I despite people who judge others. Until you are in someone else's shoes and know EXACTLY what their life is like or all that they do, I think people should keep their mouths SHUT and not made rude remarks until they have been there and done that and can relate on a 100% level.

I am proud to say I made it through the rest of the meeting all the while biting my tongue (and it hurt a bit to bite it but I accomplished it), and didn't say a word to the mother that made the rude remark. I understand people have different views, but what was said was uncalled for and was extremely hurtful to me who took the negative comment personally. I guess I should add that I was not at all upset with the girl who told me what her judgemental mother said. I was upset with the mother for saying such a mean thing, considering she hadn't made a fraction of the effort I had all year long. I was always open to suggestions and ideas but she didn't seem to have many to add throughout the year.

The mother was sitting a few seats down from her daughter when the comment left her lips. I do not know if she heard her daughter tell me the negative news about what her mother thought or not. And personally, I don't care. It would have been wonderful if the daughter would have said it with the mother by her side, but unfortunately that wasn't the case. There were several girls and other parents that heard the comment, so I'm sure she knew before the night was over what her daughter had said to me. I have a strong feeling she knew but was too chicken to apologize to my face. Isn't that funny how that works ~ it's so much easier to say something behind someone's back, but not to their face? We are all guilty of that, just some more than others.

My point of sharing this story is to make others think before they speak. You might think negatively about something or someone, but be careful what you say or what you write because once mean words leave your mouth, it's hard to take them back. I'm just advising, take a couple seconds to think about something before it's too late. It's fine that the mom felt that way, she is entitled to her opinion. However, it was not ok to blab to her daughter (who tells all anyway) and then humiliate me in front of everyone else. It was very hurtful and I have to admit I resent the mother for what she said. I will not stay hung up on it or lose sleep over it, but the scar is there. As far as I am concerned, I have no use for her and don't really care if I ever talk to her again or not. However, I do hope she learned her lesson from this whole incident and learns to keep her mouth shut before blabbing her useless opinions of others while she sits on her butt. It's like the saying goes ~ if you think you can do a better job, than do it! Don't gripe about how someone else does something if you haven't even made an effort to begin with.

So today's lesson: think before you speak or act. It just might save you from tasting your foot in your mouth and save someone else's feelings from getting hurt. This doesn't only apply to this scenario, but life in general. We all say and do things in the spur of the moment, and then later on sometimes regret what we have said or done. But we can't take it back. We just chalk it up to lessons learned and move on and try to apply what we learned in the future. It's simple really: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. We always tell our children that, but maybe there are some adults that need to be told that to.

Until next time, live and love happy!

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