Monday, November 16, 2009

A Lesson on Being Nice

One of my biggest pet peeves is people that cannot be nice. Everyone is perfectly capable of being nice, some people just choose to be jerks or rude and snooty to others. We are all created equal when God places us on this earth. But some people gain the attitude that they are better than others and treat others with little or no respect at all. It really saddens me when I see people being mean to others, or belittling their family or friends, or their own children for that matter. It just isn't right.

Have you ever heard the theory about how we are nice to complete strangers but sometimes not so nice to our own family? There was an example in an e-mail one time about how if we bump into a perfect stranger in the store we will say "I'm sorry" and apologize, but if we bump into someone in our household while passing through the hallway or in a room, we yell at the person to "watch out." Sound familiar? Often times people do this and don't even realize it. I make a habit that if I have had a stressful day at work or am upset about something, NOT to take it out on my family or my daughters. Sometimes we have a bad day at work and we come home in a bad mood and are cranky with our spouse, kids, and family. If this happens, the best thing to do is to literally put all the bad stuff outside on the doorstep before you enter the household. Then once you enter the front door, you do not think about work, you do not worry about what you have to accomplish the next day, you just leave it outside your house and can pick it up in the morning on the way out the door. That way you are not cranky and yelling at family members who have nothing to do with the problems from a job or somewhere else. It's not the kids' fault that you had a bad day, so don't take it out on them. Not everyone is this way and thank God not everyone is like this or this world would be in even more trouble. But seriously, if this scenario describes you, take a step back and think about how it reflects on others. If you are grouchy with them for something they have no control over, it just causes friction and angry feelings between family members. And that does not make for a happy household!

Having a stressful day at work is only one scenario. Sometimes people are just grouchy or cranky in general. Only their close friends or family members know how they REALLY are behind closed doors. So many times people put on a happy face so that everyone else will think their life is perfect and that they have no problems. But we all have issues or problems at some point or another. And if we didn't, then we would not be human! So the best thing to do is when you have a problem, find a way to solve it. Do not let it fester and turn you into some kind of wicked monster that no one can stand to be around.

Why is it that some people can be nice to others' faces and then turn around and stab them in the back two seconds later? These people are called Two Face and that is a term I personally cannot stand. If someone is going to be like that around me, then that person will not be around me for very long. I cannot stand those people who are a "fake nice." They pretend to be your friend, and then use what information they can to run your name through the mud. That is another one of my biggest pet peeves. Usually people like this are huge gossipers and stir up drama as much as they possibly can.

Then there are some people that just cannot be happy no matter what happens in life. And not only are they not happy, but they try to drag others down with them. They can't be nice to other people, and they probably aren't nice to themselves either. The ultimate sad truth is that no matter what you do for the person, around the person, or anything you do in life is not good enough, nor will it ever be good enough. You could be a saint in this world, you could live a perfect life, you could discover oil and become rich, you could do alot of things right and it's still not good enough for that person. And when we have to deal with someone like this, it makes life difficult and it hurts. It physically, mentally, and emotionally hurts a person to the point they can only handle so much. And we all have our limits, some more than others. And usually when pushed to the limit, people will react differently. I personally start walking backwards, keep my distance, and push people like this away. I believe life is too short to fight over stupid petty things and if someone wants to dwell on every little detail of life, I feel sorry for them. I feel genuinely sorry for that person because they are missing out alot on life.

It's sad but sometimes it takes something drastic happening to someone to make them step back and look at how they are treating others, how they are taking life and everything for granted, and how they have turned into a person they don't even like or know anymore. Sometimes it takes someone dying, or a car wreck, or a disease, or a job loss, or a divorce, or a major change for that person to see the light. And even sometimes when something drastic happens, that person still doesn't get it. They don't understand what kind of person they have turned into, or the fact that no one wants to be around them because they feast on pessimistic thoughts all the time. It's almost as if the devil has grabbed a hold of them, and really won them over and refuses to let that person go. Sometimes God uses tragic events or the loss of a person on earth to make people realize what they have taken for granted, or uses those events to make people change their lives for the better. We never want to lose anyone near and dear to us, but people go to Heaven when their time arrives, whether we want them to go or not. Sometimes losing a loved one takes more of a toll on people than others realize. Regardless of the tragic event, sometimes it takes something like that to make people see the light and change into a good person that is hidden somewhere deep inside themselves.

Too often times people let things fester for too long and that is a reason they cannot be nice to others. Families feud, friendships break up, couples break up, marriages break up, and the list goes on and on all because someone could not be nice. If we all do our part and have respect for other people, and keep our nose out of everyone else's business, cut down on the gossip all together, and don't stir drama up, this world would have alot more happier people. Some people get their high off of gossipping or stirring up trouble. And I'm sorry to say, but for those people, it's karma that will come back around and bite them in the butt some day.

Just remember close friends and family are really sometimes all you have. Even if you lose everything, your true friends and true family will always be there for you. But if you want to keep true friends and family, you must be a true friend or family member as well. You must respect others the way you want to be respected. You must treat others the way you want to be treated. It's just common sense and common decency to be a good person if you want others to be good to you. Family is family because they are blood related or adopted. Friends are friends because God has brought people into your life for a purpose.

I just wish everyone could be nice in this world. I wish everyone would think more positively and not be so negative all the time. I wish everyone could give respect to others that they expect in return. I wish people would keep their mouth shut and their opinions to themselves when it's going to hurt other people. I wish people would not make judgements about others and how they live their life. I wish people could all get along with bickering and fighting over petty crap. I wish more people could have my attitude and be nice and positive more often. I wish more people would pray to the Lord for guidance and for Him to show them their purpose in this life. I wish people would leave well enough alone and stop trying to drum up drama out of nothing. I wish people would stop gossiping to others and forming their own conclusions when they don't have all the facts. I wish people would stop telling others how they should be living their life. I wish people would wake up in the morning with a cheerful smile, do something good for someone else each day, and go to bed a happy person. I wish I had a genie that could make all this come true but that is wishful thinking.

If you find yourself being mean to others, being judgemental, being hateful, or being rude, why? Why do you want to live your life that way? Have you ever thought your actions and words hurt others to the point that you could lose them for good one day? Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and say that you do not like the person you have become? If so, it's time to make a change and the time is now. Do not wait until it's too late because tomorrow could be too late. The world could end tonight and you would not be guaranteed a spot in Heaven. Something bad could happen to you right now and you would never be able to apologize for the wrong things you have done in this world. Sometimes we need to be harsh on ourselves to make ourselves a better person. The time to do that is now; for tomorrow may be too late. If you are a mean person for too long, you will grow to be a bitter old person. And I pity people like that. I pray for everyone right now who needs to be a better and nicer person starting here and now. I pray that the Lord gives them the tools they need to be a better person for themselves and for the sake of others. Remember life is short, we only get one life to live so why not make the most of it? Enjoy life's simple little pleasures. Take a fresh breath of air and be grateful for the blessings that God has given you. Make a positive difference in this world. That is only the beginning. You must choose to live a nicer and happier life. May God help anyone who needs to be nicer to others. He is there; you just have to ask for His help. God Bless!

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