Thursday, December 3, 2009

Random Things In Our Head

I read the following in an e-mail and found myself laughing at several of these. Most of them are true if we think about it! I know I found myself nodding in agreement to some. Enjoy!


- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me. (Depends on who is talking!)

- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. (OOPS! I will say to my blog readers that I will admit when I'm wrong no matter how difficult it is. That is something most people cannot or will not do.)

- Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk. (This one applies to me walking around the Wal-Mart parking lot looking for my beloved car. And on average, it happens about once a week month. That's why I am nicknamed Blondie!)

- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. (Oh Lord yes! I would give my left arm somedays to be allowed to take a nap...)

- Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with? (Amen to this one)

- Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft. (Today's society is totally different. I miss those old Nintendo games =(. I had alot of late nights with that system. Why do we have to grow up?!?!)

- There is a great need for sarcasm font. (Uh, YA!!!)

- Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it. (Um hmmmm....)

- I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it. (I'm not dramatic, but I will run my yapper during my favorite movies to make sure others understand why that part was SO important!)

- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (Very carefully)

- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. (I do this every day of my life. With 2 kids, I have to do this. And I am so stubborn that I will make a point to see how few trips I can get the stuff in and then look at all my treasures I piled high to obtain that goal!)

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. (I think we can all agree with this. Or burn that box of stuff that no one should be allowed to find!)

- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say". (I have encountered this a time or two with men who lack in conversation.)

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. (That is why I have a snack drawer at work and take an M & M break every afternoon!)

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart". (Uh, explain this one to the blonde one. Just kidding! My theory is people are either common sense smart or book smart. I used to be more book smart, but over time I have become more common sense smart which is the better smart to be, I think. LOL)

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said? (I did this just the other day at Subway when I could not understand the foreign guy. I just looked at my bf and shook my head and rolled my eyes).

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers! (That line of cars on the highway that gang up on the jerk. Yep, I want to be right in the middle of that and not the "jerk" that they are being mean to!)

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies". (D 'as in' dragondaffodilfly, S 'as in' supercalifragilisticexpieledocious. Hee hee!)

- What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other? (If I only had the capital to hire private detectives!)

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart. (I can say I have never done this one... yet.)

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water. (I grew up in an old farmhouse where I had to do this. And I was lucky if I got a shower everyday because of the stupid water. Thank God I don't have that problem today or I would cry. Literally. Cry.)

- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Trousers? Trousers never get dirty; you can wear them forever. (I don't have to wash any trousers as of right now but I will remember this one in case I ever need it. LOL)

- I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. (So true when you're a hardworking mom with kids to take care of. If I get home before 6:00 p.m. anymore I am shocked!)

- Bad decisions make good stories. (Oh yes!)

- Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public, I feel like a kid on Christmas morning that just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do! (Never done this one, nope, never!)

- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem... (I always worry I'm gonna forget what I'm supposed to say. Like they give you a list of 3 things to say and sometimes people have to be reminded of what the third thing was. How embarrassing!)

- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day. (That's a given. Some days are bust butt get 20 hours worth of work done in 10, and others are get 1 hour's worth done in 9. Those days are great.)

- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection. (I can never keep up with the current "in" right now so update me that happens, k?)

- There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. (HAHAHA! Oh wait, I'm not laughing. HAHAHA! Karma will get me for laughing at this one.)

- I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to. (Yeah, hate it when that happens)

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever. (I will add do not dry flannel shirts. I learned this when I was 15. OOPS.)

- I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?' (This is true because you want to please everyone but as always, you cannot please everyone all the time. The children rule the TV in our house most of the time anyway so I usually just settle for cartoons. Because sometimes Dora is my saving grace and allows me to get some housework done!)

- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? (When this happens, it plain irritates me. Or what about this one - you have a missed call from a number you don't know? Do you call it back? Do you just let it go? The suspense drives me crazy and I usually call the number back. I just can't stand knowing someone called me and not knowing who the mystery caller was!)

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. (Amen. Or the opposite happens ~ you decide to make it a lazy day and all these visitors show up on your doorstep unannounced. Or an ex husband stops by at 5:00 in the afternoon and you and the kids are still in jammies. Not that that's ever happened or anything! I rarely get these lazy days but they are nice every once in a great while.)

- When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking. (Have you ever been guilty of internet stalking? Never, right? Why don't I buy that for one minute?? Google has many uses these days!!)

- I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes. (Considering I don't have an ipod and can barely work my daughter's, I can't say this fits me to the T. However, I have made CDs ~ you know those circle shiny disks that play music ~ CDs. I have made some with my fav songs on them and now those songs get on my nerves. I can listen to a CD of 20 songs in like 5 minutes!)

- Why is a school zone 5 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for paedophiles... (Yup. Not to mention how hard is it to drive 5 mph. Not that I'm a speed demon or anything...)

- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. (Can't say I do this one. But I will look at my watch 3 times in 2 minutes!)

- I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. (Enough said!)

- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey, but I'd bet money everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time... (This is me every morning when Taylor Swift starts singing to me! What can I say? It's a song loud enough guaranteed to wake me up every time. That is the only time I will cuss my beloved little cell buddy.)

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that? (My 4 yo daughter asks me the most random things, often times in the car. The other day we were in the drive through of a restaurant behind several cars and she yelled "Oh come on lady. You can't take so long lady." I busted a gut while trying to order!)

- I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit. (I am sure they do. Even if it looks like a police car behind me, I slow down and obey the speed limit. Maybe that is why they drive with their sirens on sometimes, so they can speed too, and it would be legal. Just a thought.)

- I think the freezer deserves a light as well. (Yeah, what's up with that anyway?)

- The other night I ordered take away and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat butt before dinner. (Maybe they were trying to be nice and supply your home with extra silverware??)

1 comment:

Cowboy said...

I agree with this alot especially the part about talking during your favorite movie..... lmao Pure country the other day remember ....... muah!!!