Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Impossible People

Have you ever had a person in your life that is absolutely impossible to please? No matter what you say or do is good enough for them. These people tend to make life difficult and unpleasant at times. Sometimes this person is someone close to us and sometimes they are not. It might be that customer that comes into the office that nobody wants to offer customer service to because they are unpleasant and rude. It might be the next door neighbor who isn't nice or is always complaining about something. It might be a total stranger in a store that accidentally bumps into you and then turns around and yells at you for it. It could be a close friend that you know very well but is sometimes hard to be friends with. It could be a family member who is always hard on you and feels like you do nothing right in life.

Regardless of who it is, those people are out there. And to put it quite literally, they can make life a living hell at times! These people are usually negative, overbearing, and not someone we typically like to be around. It would be nice to shove these people in a closet or simply ignore them, but that's easier said than done most of the time. If we luck out and it's someone we barely know or rarely have to see, we can usually deal with them for the amount of time required and then be done with them. But if the person is close to us or we have to see them on a regular basis, it's not such an easy situation.

Again, it would be nice to shove a rag in that person's mouth and block out their constant nagging or opinions on everything! With that being said, that theory is not very nice, but it is very true. So the reality is we have to deal with them whether we like it or not. There is more than one way we can handle these types of people. Depending on the type of person you are will determine how you handle this situation when it arises. Some people will take the high road and listen to the person and let it fly over their head, or ignore this behavior to the best of their ability. Other people will crawl in a hole or under a rock and just take the behavior and not fight back which means they consistently deal with the nagging or abuse from the other person. Others will fight back and let their opinion be known and not take crap from anyone. And others will listen at first, and then shut that person out of their life completely. There can be a range of actions but those are just some of the basic ones I can think of. And sometimes we will react with a combination of those options.

Let's talk about the people who learn to ignore constant nagging or negative behavior from others. These people are generally optimistic or the "go with the flow" type. They don't let alot bother them and they accept life how it is and don't rock the boat too much. So rather than dealing with confrontation, they take it all in and then let it leave their brains. This is the theory of "in one ear and out the other." You listen with one side of your head, the information travels through the skull and out the other ear. Basically, you process the information, but you do not retain it.

Then there is the crawl under the rock people. Those people tend to be passive and scared about things. They also do not like confrontation and that is one reason they just take whatever comes at them and do not fight back. This type tends to be quiet and like the little mouse in the corner that you never hear. They will not voice their opinion back because they are too afraid. Sometimes these people have low self esteem and do not know how to make their own decisions or let their opinions be heard. Sometimes this type of person has had an overbearing person in their life, or has been controlled by others in their life. It's sad, but this world is made up of these types of people everywhere. You may be one or know of one. With prayer and God's guidance, this type of person can come out of their shell and live a life they have never even known.

Now let's move on to the "fighters." These people stand up for themselves, what they believe in, and will not back down from a fight. This type is usually pretty stubborn and can be bull headed. It's when you get multiple people with this type of personality together that a problem arises. It's like the theory "too many chiefs and not enough Indians." We all lead at sometimes in life, but then others times we follow. And we should do both depending on what the situation is. Sometimes we have to take charge to teach others, and other times we need to let someone else lead so that we can learn.

Not every person is going to fall directly into one of these categories. Many people will exhibit multiple traits of the different types of personalities. It also depends on the type of person you are and what your current mood is as well. Sometimes someone will say something to us that strikes a nerve, and we react in a way we don't normally. The bottom line is everyone reacts in their own way and each person will react differently given the same situation. But when a person puts up with something for so long, the option of pushing that person out of there life or away usually comes into play. We as an individual can only take so much. We all have our limits that we get pushed to, and depending on what type of person you are, your limit is higher or less than others. But when someone reaches their limit, things tend to turn ugly.

If we put up crap for so long from someone, over time we start to develop resentment, anger, hatred, and bitterness towards that person. And if that person keeps it up and keeps pushing, eventually they are going to push that person out of their life completely. It's like a car on the edge of a cliff. A car is hard to move by one person alone. But if a person pushes that car just a little each day, they won't move it very far. But over time, they will move that car enough to where it falls over the edge and is gone. It might take years to move that car far enough to where it will tip and fall and be gone, but if you move that car half of an inch (1/2") every day, the progress will eventually be made and the car will fall off the cliff for eternity.

If you have never had to deal with someone who is overbearing and nothing is ever good enough for, then you are blessed! Praise God for your blessings, please! Unfortunately most of us have had to deal with at least one person or multiple people in our life that are like this. No matter what we do, no matter where we go, no matter who is in our life, no matter what decisions we make, NOTHING is ever good enough for that particular person. We could strike gold, or discover a miraculous cure for a disease, or be the upmost and outstanding citizen, or be the best person we can possibly be, and our notable actions are still not up to the standards of someone else. They are all out there, and sometimes we have to deal with them each and every single day.

If you have this type of person in your life, know that God loves them just the same. Know that they were put on this earth for a reason and maybe they haven't discovered their purpose yet. Know that even though they are annoying or unpleasant, they were a gift from the Lord and there is some purpose they are here on earth. If you have been blessed (yes there is some sarcasm there) to have someone like this in your life, try to find the good in that person and love them anyway. We are supposed to love our friends and enemies both, but sometimes our friend and enemy can be one person at the same time. Sometimes that person is good and we love them unconditionally, and other times they are like a monster and we do not understand how they could act the way they do.

More often times than not, that person hurts us by their words or actions. They expect so much from us and when we think we deliver our best, it still isn't enough for that person. We must realize that when we truly give our all, that is really all we can do. If we be the best person we know we can be, that is all we can do. If we try and succeed, that is wonderful and all we can do. If we try and fail, we must learn from our mistakes, and that is all we can do. See the pattern here? Be the best you can be, live life the best way you know how, be good to others, be kind to others, and try to follow what God would want you to do in life, and that is ALL YOU CAN DO. The Lord will see your actions and be proud of you. Even if that negative person in your life doesn't see the good in you, God does and that is ultimately what matters in the end. Your kindness and goodness will shine through and will hopefully touch others who appreciate the good you do in this world.

Remember that if you are blessed with one of these people in your life, pray for them. Really, I am dead serious. PRAY FOR THEM! They need it more than you do, so do it. I even pray for people I don't necessarily like because I want the best for them. I always want the best for everyone, even I don't like the person. For those negative birds out there, they won't understand that last statement, but it's true. I never wish any harm or any bad stuff on anyone because that is not a good Christian. I would not want someone else to wish harm or bad on my family or I, so I will not wish bad things on someone else. -> That's the golden rule of life you know! "Do unto others as you wish done unto you." (Or at least that's my version of it!)

I have a theory in life that some people may agree with and some may not. I live my life how I choose to live my life. This means that I make my own decisions whether people agree with them or not. I always make decisions based on what is best for my daughters and myself. If I make a decision that turns out not so great down the road, I learn from it and move on. I do not dwell on the past. In fact, I can't say I have any regrets in life because everything that has happened in my life has made me into the person that I am today. And I am very proud of the progress I have made in my life thus far. It can only get better from this point forward! Don't get me wrong, there will be ups and downs just like we ALL have in this world, but being the optimist I am, I will find good in everything and roll with it day by day.

Life is too short to live unhappy in life. We are only given so much time on earth so make the most of it. If you are always hard on your friends or loved ones, take a step back and look at how you treat others. Would you want to be treated that way? Would you want to deal with negativity and rudeness all the time? Probably not. So treat others how you want to be treated. Instead of finding things to argue about, or petty things to fight about, spend that time telling others how much you appreciate them and how much you love them. Let me ask a couple of questions to my faithful readers: If the world ended tomorrow, would you be happy with the progress you have made thus far in life? Think about it. If you died tomorrow, would you leave a legacy or would you have unfinished business you would regret not taking care of? Would you regret the way you treated others on earth or would you be content in knowing you were good to others? On the flip side, think about this: What if something happened to that person and they were no longer here? Would you care? Would you wonder how things could have been different if you'd been more positive to them? Would you regret the fact you never told them you loved them, but instead told them what they did wrong? Think about it. Those are some heavy questions, but extremely important ones to ask yourself. If you are happy with life and know you are living the way you should and being nice to others as you should be, then congratulations. You are doing all you can do and God is smiling down on you right now. But if not, think about making a change. And not just a temporary change, but a permanent one. Stop being so hard on everyone and start being nice to everyone, even if you do not like the person. Do nice things for others because it weighs on your heart to do them, not because you have to. Love others unconditionally, no matter what accomplishments or mistakes they have made in life. Do not intentionally try to hurt people, or peoples feelings; instead say something positive to them instead of something negative. If you are too mean to people or are negative for so long, you will eventually earn a reputation as being that way. And nobody wants to be known for that. I personally want to be remembered as a good person, a good mom, a good friend, even a good wife (once I get there), a good sister, a good daughter, a good cousin, a good niece, a good worker at my job, a good whatever it is that I do! You get the idea. Start today, don't wait until it's too late. Make the changes you need to make to improve your life for the better, stop dwelling on negative items, and be happy! There is nothing better than being happy and really living life the way God wants us to live. There is no greater feeling, I am living proof! I would love to have feedback or comments on this post if you so desire. We all have someone in our life we wish we could make a more positive or a happier person, so more power to those who need positive energy and prayers from the Lord! Until next time, love much, live happy and laugh often because that is what life is all about! May God bless any person who needs positive spirits and guidance from Above...

1 comment:

country4life said...

I may be impossible but I am you mother.

Love -MOM-