Tuesday, September 8, 2009

When is Enough Enough?

When is enough enough? That's a good question that we don't always ask ourselves. I always hear people complain about problems in life, or issues about their relationships they have with their significant other, family or friends. If there is one thing that I remember out of everything my mother has ever told me, it would be this ~ "Only YOU can decide when enough is enough."

That is actually some extremely good advice I think we could all use in the present and future, and have probably used it in the past as well. It takes a very strong minded and strong willed person to finally stand up to someone and say "enough is enough" and follow through with their words and turn them into actions. Many people get comfortable in life's situations and don't want to rock the boat and venture into unknown territory. I have been there myself a time or two. But with prayer and God's guidance, I took action, stepped off the boat and walked away from things or situations I had known for years. And when I decided that "enough was enough," it was one of the scariest decisions I had ever made in life. But you know what? I came out stronger than ever, I am ok today, and it made me into a better person because I took initiative and made a change in my life for the better. My trials in life have made me stand on my own two feet when I refused to be influenced by anyone or any outside factors. I choose to live my life the way I believe God wants me to. I also live and do things that I believe is best for myself and my daughters. Because my decisions in life ultimately influence my children as much as they influence me.

Have you ever been with someone who you never thought you could live without? Have you ever met someone who you wanted to know so much about? Have you ever had such a strong connection with someone that you could not let it go no matter how hard you tried? If you can answer YES to any of these questions (and you should be able to answer yes to at least one of them), then you may have very well asked yourself the question of when is enough enough about that person. If you have been lucky enough to have found the "love of your life" (or so thought you did), life is great! Life is great for awhile anyways. Then lightning strikes and trouble rolls in! At some point in time or another, trouble is bound to strike; sometimes it takes months, sometimes it takes years, and sometimes it happens in a short time frame. Regardless of how happy you are with the person, it's going to happen. You cannot avoid it no matter how hard you try.
This situation can happen even if you are not "in love" with the person. It can happen with someone you are just getting to know or someone you want to know better. When you first meet someone, all is great and dandy and you are happily floating in the clouds. Then once you start to come off your happy high, you begin to see things that you are not totally content with, but you deal with them because you don't know that person all that well. You want to give them the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes you are skeptical. This all comes into entering the unknown territory or getting to know someone more over time. Sometimes it can be scary, but you have to try something new to see what will happen or where things will lead. It makes me think of this theory ~ You have to do something you have never did to get something you have never had.

No matter what the situation is, whether you meet a new friend, a new love interest, or have family members your whole life, or a friend you've known for years, or a significant other you have been with for awhile ~ this question pertains to all of those persons in your life. When someone does something to hurt or upset you, you have to deal with it. But when this behavior repeatedly happens, you eventually have to take a stand and ask yourself when enough is enough. How long do you want to put up the person who has hurt you without taking action and fighting back? Is this a relationship that is worth fighting for, is it better to move forward and let go of the relationship? These are all questions that arise when people do not agree about things, or when one is dominating over the other. Often times relationships break up or marriages end in divorce because one person has had enough of whatever they do not like about the other person. Friendships break up because good friends have a disagreement over something of such magnitude that it cannot be overcome; therefore they no longer speak to each other and they throw away the friendship they once had. It is sad, but it is reality and happens more often than it should.

I am all for saving friendships or relationships and making amends because I believe God wants us to forgive others no matter what they have done to hurt us. Holding grudges is a sin; look it up if you do not believe me. Having a grudge against someone isn't as bad as some other sins that people commit, but nonetheless, it is still a sin. But with all that in mind, there comes a time that sometimes a person has done so much damage to us, or has done something beyond what we can handle. We will eventually get tired of the same thing over and over and over again, and we will then decide enough is enough. It does not matter what the person has done, or what repeated negative behavior they are doing, but it always eventually comes to a boiling point. And then the volcano erupts and things change. We have to make things change; they will not change on their own.

Remember what the advice was at the beginning - Only YOU can decide when enough is enough. Not your friends, not your family, not the neighbors, not your cat or dog or mouse in the backyard, but YOU have to make those decisions in your life. If someone is constantly hurting you, or putting you down, or playing mind games, or making empty promises, it has to stop somewhere along the line. And it will only continue on as long as YOU let it. If you are not happy with a certain situation, or a certain person, or the way something is going in your life, take action now! Stop it before it's too late. Make your opinions and views known to the other person so that it can be resolved. For if something drags on to long in a negative form, it will eventually blow up in anger, and it's doomed to end sometime, someday, somehow. That is one reason the divorce rate is so high in the United Sates today. People don't talk about their problems, they keep them bottled up, and then when it's too late, the bottle rocket is lit and irreversible damage is done.

I offer you this challenge ~ if you find yourself in this situation where you are dealing with struggles, or putting up with something you know you should not be, or accepting the current situation as the way it is because that's all you know, STOP! Take a look at yourself, realize your self worth (which is actually alot higher than most people give themselves credit for), and think about the situation in present day, and what the situation could be like in the future if there was a change made. Never settle for less than you deserve because you only sell yourself short and you might be missing out on part of God's plan for your life is you settle. Do not stay in a situation that is unhealthy for you or others involved. Either get out or make it better with a change. If you are not happy with another person in life, whether it be a friend, family member, or significant other, new or old, take charge and change the situation. Voice your opinion and let it be known how you feel about something. It could be something major or it could be something minor, but regardless of what it is, if something bothers you or you are unsettled about something, speak up! Do not let things go because it will eventually come back to bite you in the rear end. Do not put up with something just because you think there is no way out. The unknown is scary sometimes, but the journey is fun if we make it fun. God never said life would be easy, but we can make the most out of our situations and try to live and love happy. So if you are asking yourself if enough is enough about something, then it probably is. Only YOU know how much you want to put up with and how much you are willing to tolerate from another person or situation in your life. So if you are not happy, tell yourself you are going to make a change and do something to fix it, or end it! Sometimes it takes someone doing the same thing over and over again before we decide we've had enough of whatever it is. But only WE can answer when that time comes. So think about it, pray about it and if you find yourself saying that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, take action and follow through so that you can live a happier and healthier life. We all deserve to be happy, and we all deserve to have the best in life, but it's only US that can make it happen. Good Luck and God Bless!

1 comment:

contry4life said...

Thank you for giving me credit for this statement Enough is Enough. It is one of the truest statements ever made. Following in close second is you must live with the decisions that you make and not all of the people who give you their opinions and suggestions.